One of my dearest friends just comitted suicide

[kryptonitecomics]

Well my Thanksgiving is all but ruined after a wonderful day with the family. I found out tonight that a close personal friend of mine and my families over the past 25+ years comitted suicide yesterday. He was truly a great guy who had appearently run into some hard times, broke up with his girlfriend and God knows what else. I got a chance to see him this year as he came down to Orlando from Michigan with his 8 year old daughter and borrowed my sea world passes.

 

He was there for me when I went through my divorce a few years back and I feel like I let him down as I didn't realize he was in any trouble. I don't blame myself of course I am just devastated to find out he is gone and my heart is broken thinking about the pain his daughter must be feeling right now. I was on that same cliff a few years ago and I know that when deep depression sets in you don't think rationally....you don't think of the children left behind....it's such a selfish act.....

 

Going to take a long time to get over this one

[thehumantorch]

So sorry to hear this. Don't blame yourself. If your friend didn't ask for help he probably didn't want it and hid his situation from his family and friends.

[Old Pueblo]

Shane,

Sorry for your loss and his family's

[MunkyMan95]

Terrible to hear, Shane. Losing a close friend is never easy.

 

So sorry for your loss.

[WoodenJefferson]

There are times when understanding just what went wrong for a life to come to this conclusion, is often times, beyond us. Sorry to hear about this tragic event.

[michael]

really sorry to hear about that

[leeg]

 

Sorry for your loss Shane. I've had suicide touch my family and it's still hard to understand after all these years.

[kryptonitecomics]

Thanks all.....I am going to take today and just spend it with my family and be thankful we have each other. I will never know the reasons why this happened so all I can do is love him and accept that he is gone and hope that his daughter can recover from this in time.

[CHABSENTIA]

Sorry to hear about that. My best friend committted suicide about 30 years ago. He was not in any financial problems etc. He had gone through a divorce and had two really attractive twin children of which he had custody. His Parents loved him and he was the most least likely person to do it. I was in the Military att he time and it has always bothered me that if I had been present that he wouldnt have done it.This lives with you for ever.

[jgrinz]

HI Shane

 

Depression/Manic Depression and its resulting unstable state of mind can be hard to explain even to the closest of friends.

 

When it starts to occur you need professional help immediately OR you think there is no ANSWER to your perceived problems and take things into your own hand.

Most times it is found that people that commit suicide have battled depression most of their lives. They would mask it or self medicate with alcohol or drugs, which would make them LOOK somewhat normal to most folks and even the immedaite family, but the underlying problems are still there.

 

I am obviously speaking from first hand experience as most of you know.

 

I am very saddened of your loss but there was NOTHING you could do if he didn't take the first step. I feel more saddened for the daughter as it will be a struggle for her to understand what happened and why.

 

Take care of your self ALSO as such things can cause a sympathetic depression which can affect YOUR health. Take care My friend.

 

Mike

[x2rider]

Such sad news

Depression is such a silent killer .

 

It's always lurking in the background of the subconscious just waiting for the opportunity to move forward and affect our everyday lives . No thought is ever given to those that it will leave behind because it truly feels that it would just be so much better if you weren't there .

 

Don't ever be hard on yourself for missing the signs of a potential suicide . The person committing it doesn't see it coming either . One day something small will happen that will just affect you so deeply that all the s**t that you had stored in the back of your mind just comes down on you like a ton of bricks and you don't know how to deal with it .

 

You won't ring your friends for help because you don't want to bother them with your inability to cope . So you'll think about doing it , and think it really is the only way out .

 

This is a hard thing to think about and even write about because you know that somewhere in your head that tons of bricks is just waiting for the opportunity .

[physics-fan3.14]

Very sorry to hear about that, Shane.

[123cents]

Very sorry to hear the sad news Shane.

[TJ'S Coins]

Shane, I am so sorry to hear this disturbing news. The temptation is to feel guilty over what you might/could/should have done. Don't go there! It is better to focus on how you can assist his children and family as they struggle through this difficult time. My prayers are with you.

[bsshog40]

Sorry to hear of the loss of your friend Shane. No need to blame yourself my friend. Some people never give signs for the fear of failing thier attempt. My brother committed suicide some years ago and only he knew what he was going to do. Take care my friend.

[TomB]

I doubt you will ever fully get over this event. I doubt you will ever fully understand this event. Value your friend and help his family, if needed. Please refrain from a value judgement. All situations are unique. My former mentor killed himself in 1994, so I have some idea of your situation and where you may find yourself.

[kryptonitecomics]

I ordered a nice flower arrangement for his memoral service tomorrow... though it hardly seems enough. It is strange how something like this can affect us....maybe because of the distance or maybe because he said all the right things when I went through my divorce and the rolls were reversed. I wasn't able to return the favor so to speak but I feel like a better person for knowing him.

 

There are many Tradgedys in this world and I have faced quite a few in the past few years but I can't afford to take time off for self pitty. I have a family, they need me and I am going to make sure I never put them through this type of ordeal.....we have to fight the good fight everyday and life and love is worth fighting for.... So many questions.....so little answers but a small bit in comfort in knowing he is not in any pain anymore. Whatever he was going through is over now....it wasn't the right choice for sure but maybe he can rest in peace now.

 

Thank you all for your compassion.....as always your friend Shane

[jtryka]

Sorry to hear about this Shane, my sympathies to you and the family. Up here in Michigan, depression is getting more and more common, but it still doesn't mitigate the pain that such an event may cause. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[dean1345]

I'm sorry for your loss. Yours and his family will be in my prayers.

[thebeav]

My condolences.

 

Paul

[TheMightyDuke]

No words can take the pain away...no actions can take the pain away. The more you think of the good times, the more you get angered there can't be any more. My very deepest sympathies, as I have lived with a best friend orchestrating his own end. You have done the right thing....spend time with those that you give thanks for having in your life, and hope/pray your friend has found that which he couldn't seem to find in this life. My deepest condolences to you, and especially to his daughter, who will be the hardest hit. May your friend rest in eternal peace, and hopefully he has found that peace he couldn't find here, and may you find the strength to comfort yourself in this dark time.

[zeebob]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers are with you, your friend and his young daughter whom must be completely distraught.

[jesbroken]

You have my family's deepest sympathy Shane. We have had two near suicides in our family that after 30 years we still do not know why it came to that. You are doing the right thing in spending time with your family at this moment and hopefully you will be able to spend some time with his daughter and assist her in knowing it was not her fault. So tragic an event for children who feel a far greater need to know why than adults.

Again, God Bless your family and his.

Jim

[rrantique]

Our heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your friends family.

[kryptonitecomics]

Thanks again all.....his memorial service was held yesterday in Trenton Michigan. We are holding up ok but I am still concerned about my brother who was his best friend. He seems to be holding all of the greif inside which I guess is his way of dealing with it. This is the second close friend he has lost to suicide although there is a gap of about 10 years.....we live in a crazy world but we can't make decisions for anyone else but ourselves so life goes on.