Hoo Boy... I always hate this....

[Crohnos01]

Ok, so here it is getting close to my birthday again, and while I love the idea that family members want to get me coins, I hate the idea that they are buying what they know absolutely nothing about and have a tendency to over pay for too low of quality common coins. I know that I am not the only one out there with loving, well meaning family members who want to support my hobby. What do you folks tell your mother, aunt, daughter, etc. who wouldn't know a VF from a MS and think that a Barber dime means it has stripes on it?

 

I don't want to insult them by saying "don't buy me any coins" because they mean well, but I have been down this path before... (me unwrapping box) "Oh... WOW... it's great... it's a BU 2012 American Silver Eagle.." (Relative giving gift) "I'm so glad you like it. The guy I bought it from tells me it's really rare because they don't make them anymore and sold it to me for just over $80, so I think I got a really good deal on it" (me, now trying to not swallow my tongue....)

 

Last year I told people to just look for interesting coins of the area they happened to be traveling in and got some really kind of cool local medals and commemorative local coins for this and that. Nothing that is going to increase my collection value, but enjoyable to look at and research. Best of all, usually they cost under $20 so I don't feel awful for having sent a relative to slaughterhouse... I don't know if I can keep pulling that one off or not though.....

[Catbert]

Be blunt, but kind. Say that you are particular and that if they want to give you a meaningful gift, provide a list of coins books (that you want) and where they can be found. That way, they feel good about supporting your hobby and you get to build your numismatic library.

[Keigwin]

Best to let them know you need coin-related things. Books, magazines, flips, folders, storage boxes, albums, photographic stuff maybe? Keep them away from coins. There's no teaching them.

Lance.

[mumu]

Explain the difficulty of buying the right coins and avoiding the scam artists.

[James_OldeTowne]

Asking them not to buy you coin items might hurt their feelings. Therefore, I'd use the pro-active approach. Give them a list of modern bullion items (which should be relatively safe) and the retail price that they should sell for, and tell them you'd be delighted to receive any of those items within those prices ranges.

[newprepper]

If there is something you want, like a coin from somebody here, buy it, give it to your wife to offer to them to give you as a group gift, they can all pitch in, or daughter, same idea, have your wife give it to her to give you. Nobody needs to know where it came from. Thats how I get all my guns for bdays, xmas, anniversary, easter, v-day, I'm still the one forking over the cash, but I get exactly what I want, and there is no faking it, (I leave that to the wife) haha

[Raisethis2]

I like the list idea. Things fairly easy to locate and tell them what to pay. They will understand instantly why you made such a list because without it they might have paid the first price quoted. When quoted $80 for something actually valued at $40-45 it's clear to them that they aren't in Walmart.

 

 

[Elbesaar]

 

My family knows not to buy me coins because I have remarked numerous

times about what some other's family did and how they were taken by some

one who took major advantage of their being unfamiliar with coins.

 

Friends and family have been exchanging Christmas tree ornaments for

years... We set a dollar limit of $20 per person ... These presents are cherished

presents and we write down the year received on the box and who has given it.

 

 

 

[RWB]

Put some good hobby books on your "want list." Any of the ones I wrote will fill the bill...

[bochiman]

Been there, done that.

 

I've let family and friends know, pretty strongly since, that they shouldn't trust others selling coins if they don't know the market as the coin could be worth face value and not a treasure like they are told.

 

Heck, even buying coin books, they need to be careful as some are very basic and not worth it and others aren't the right series for me. The wife did that a few years ago.

 

I try not to hurt feelings but I also don't want them to buy me gifts that are essentially a waste of money and space.

 

So, aside from warning them about others ripping them off (I try to put it in a way of "wow....I heard about these folks really getting ripped off buying coins and not knowing enough when doing so.....gotta be careful out there, so if you have questions, ask me first...I don't want you ripped off!").

 

Case in point. Good friend of mine went to China (he is Chinese but grew up in US) and saw some US silver dollar coins. He was emailing me telling me about the great deal he got. I asked him what type and he said he didn't know...just that they were US silver dollars from the 1800s and early 1900s.

This was all back and forth in email.

I then asked him what dates, since he really doesn't know what to look at, or listen for, to see if they are silver.

He said 188x, 1906, xxxxx.....I said "stop right there". There was no US silver dollar in 1906. He said "sure there is.....I saw this design on other US coins....a walking liberty".

 

They had taken the SAE and put 1906 on the fake coin. Sheeesh!

Luckily he was only out $20ish for the 4 coins. I did feel bad for him as he thought he was being nice to me. Not like he was trying to rip them off and make a killing.

[Crohnos01]

Thanks guys... all excellent suggestions. I was thinking the "Mine to Mint" book might be a nice addition to the library.... I would still have to sweet talk Roger into signing it of course.

 

I like the list idea with prices too.. That way not only do they know what they should be paying, they can kind of read it like a menu and decide if they want to spend $5 or $500 on me... not that I have any relation that think spending $500 on a coin is a good idea mind you... I generally don't tell family what I paid for a particular coin....they have a tendency to inch their way to the phone and call these guys with white suits who want me to wear a jacket with really long sleeves....The last time I told my mother about a beautiful pickup I got from our own Mr. Feld ... a sweet commemorative for my type set, her eyes bugged out " you paid how much for a half dollar?... isn't it only worth $.50?!!" ......Or my wife's famous quote of all time.... "so if something happens to you, I can just take all these coins to the store and spend them for face value, right?"... I informed her I would haunt her if she did that by the way..

 

Yeah... best not to get too deep into the coin discussions with non-collectors.... it makes their head hurt and gives me heartburn...

[michael]

tell all of your family that you are looking for and be generic as possible

 

for example i am wanting to buy a nice choice to gem unc barber dime for my collection

 

please it will cost me approx. 500-900 usd and i would like everyone just to give me cash money towards it and whatever i get i will pick something out that i absolutely "love": and add the balance and i will either e mail a photo of my choice to those who have e mails and/or send a photocopy of the coin by mail for those that dont have e mail )

[bartlesvilleok]

Ebay had a gift list. You could look for coins on it that are buy it now that are not drastically over priced and add them to your list. Yes I know that normally Buy it now's are higher but hearing someone over paid a dollar or two sure bets hearing they paid $80 for a ASE.

 

Around Christmas time they also had something called a joint gift were many ebay users could pay a small part of the gift.

 

Maybe one of these would be a way you could get a coin related item and monitor the purchase to make sure they dont over pay (too much anyway)

[Dave1384]

. a sweet commemorative for my type set, her eyes bugged out " you paid how much for a half dollar?... isn't it only worth $.50?!!" ......Or my wife's famous quote of all time.... "so if something happens to you, I can just take all these coins to the store and spend them for face value, right?"... I informed her I would haunt her if she did that by the way..

 

Yeah... best not to get too deep into the coin discussions with non-collectors.... it makes their head hurt and gives me heartburn...

 

This makes my head hurt. There is no sense discussing hobbies with people who don't know or care. It's that way with vintage audio gear, trust me. Guys having to sneak their latest score into the house because the WAF isn't there.

 

I scored big on an '09s VDB last year in MS 61. I sprang it on my 20 year old. Showed him the slab, said this might be yours one day. And I have another. Of course the first thing out of his mouth was what did I pay for it? When I gave him a ballpark figure it was if I had 3 heads. No inquiry as to it's history or story.

 

[Gunny]

I wouldn't do anything. They are buying you a gift. Be appreciative of what they are giving you. After all, it isn't the gift that should count, it's the fact that people went out of their way to find some coins for you.

 

I would hate it if someone were to tell me what to get them for their birthday. If someone spends $80 on an ASE, so what? The premium paid is worth it to them to see you smile and have a good time on your birthday. Isn't that worth it? It appears to be for your friends and family.

 

After all, it doesn't sound like people are spending hundreds of dollars on coins for you. If they are, then I would agree that maybe you should say something.

 

Have a good one and Happy Birthday.

[West August-migration]

Certain individuals in my life have been known to receive anonymous emails, complete with links and contact information.

[jpcienkus]

I wouldn't do anything. They are buying you a gift. Be appreciative of what they are giving you. After all, it isn't the gift that should count, it's the fact that people went out of their way to find some coins for you.

 

I would hate it if someone were to tell me what to get them for their birthday. If someone spends $80 on an ASE, so what? The premium paid is worth it to them to see you smile and have a good time on your birthday. Isn't that worth it? It appears to be for your friends and family.

 

After all, it doesn't sound like people are spending hundreds of dollars on coins for you. If they are, then I would agree that maybe you should say something.

 

Have a good one and Happy Birthday.

 

And that's the post of the thread

 

Thank you for the reminder of what a gift should mean!

[Crohnos01]

I wouldn't do anything. They are buying you a gift. Be appreciative of what they are giving you. After all, it isn't the gift that should count, it's the fact that people went out of their way to find some coins for you.

 

I would hate it if someone were to tell me what to get them for their birthday. If someone spends $80 on an ASE, so what? The premium paid is worth it to them to see you smile and have a good time on your birthday. Isn't that worth it? It appears to be for your friends and family.

 

After all, it doesn't sound like people are spending hundreds of dollars on coins for you. If they are, then I would agree that maybe you should say something.

 

Have a good one and Happy Birthday.

 

And that's the post of the thread

 

Thank you for the reminder of what a gift should mean!

 

I have to say, there's wisdom in those thar words....I probably over pay for half the gifts I buy my family members for their hobbies too.. What the heck is a horse doing with a bridal anyway? I thought that had to do with weddings....

[ArmyBud]

My wife and I made a pact that neither would buy the other anything that is associated with our hobbies! She don't buy me golf clubs or coins without asking me first what I think and I don't buy her stamps!! Works fine.....