How do you feel? You ask for a photo of a coin you're interested in...

[pendragon1998]

I've had this happen to me a number of times. I've seen someone on one of the coin boards offering a coin for sale (in writing) that I'm interested in. I like the price, I need that coin, and I think the buyer is trustworthy enough. So I PM them and say basically, "I am interested in the coin; can you email me some photos, since I'm picky about condition in this series?"

 

Then come the photos. The coin isn't up to my collection's standards. The coin might have a spotting issue, or an abrasion on a cheek, or it's not quite the condition I wanted for some other reason. I have a limited coin budget, so when I'm shelling out for a coin, I want/need it to look the way I prefer.

 

At this point, the issue I'm talking about comes up. On the one hand, I don't want to waste a seller's time. I'm genuinely interested in the coin, but I don't want it after seeing the photos. I often like the seller to begin with, and I know they took time out of their day to make an honest photo of the coin that highlights its qualities and its blemishes. I usually feel really bad saying, "I'm sorry, the coin's not for me," and I worry it might harm relationships and make them less likely to send photos in the future. How should I handle this situation in the future? I'm perfectly willing to buy the coin if the photos don't reveal a problem, but what about when the photos don't show what I'm looking for? Anyone have a similar story from either the seller's or buyer's perspective? Am I worried about nothing?

 

Also, can anyone offer some polite ways of turning down the coin? I usually use the phrase, "it's just not for me" regardless of whether the coin's spoony, or nice but overpriced, or I found a better one, or whatever...but I wonder if there's a better way of expressing the sentiment.

[jgrinz]

My Feeling is tell him how you feel ... ... I actually think he was wasting your time by NOT providing a photo WITH the offer to sell. You had to take the time to write him and ask for one ... Quality sellers will appreciate your candor say "thanks for your interest" and move on ....

 

OR IS THIS MY thinking ..

 

Mike

[WinstonWare]

Personally, I never understand how someone is able to sell a coin w/o a picture or who would buy a coin w/o a picture. I would just say something like, “Thank you for taking the time to take the picture of this coin for me. While I think that it is indeed a fine coin, it doesn’t quite fit into the collection that I am building for this series. Thanks again, Michael”

 

I think that is pleasant and honest.

[JamminJ]

I've stopped taking photos for some people due to "tire kicker" issues but don't take it personally.

[TomB]

I don't know that you have to make any comment about the coin at all. Simply state something like "Thank you for your time and effort, but I will have to decline the offer" should be plenty.

[ldhair]

I don't know that you have to make any comment about the coin at all. Simply state something like "Thank you for your time and effort, but I will have to decline the offer" should be plenty.

That's all one needs to say. If the seller has a problem with it, well I guess it's just his problem. Situations such as this do not need to be a big production. A thank you should be fine.

[bsshog40]

All are right. Thank them for thier time and honestly tell them that it's not quite what you're looking for. This forum is about trust and honesty. We ask for honest opinions about coins we are thinking of buying and coins we have bought. Honesty should be taken gracefully and not dis-respectively.

[John Martinez]

If I'm going to sell something, I'm going to take the best picture within my ability in case someone asks for it.

 

I have not sold any coins yet; however, I listed for sale these huge ottomans I have in the local web site that does not allow posting of pics. I received several requests for pics and no one purchased it. No one bothered to respond back with no, kiss my rear, nothing. I don't even know if they even got the picture. Yes, I sent a follow-up e-mail in case their spam filter picked up on the attachment.

 

To me, common courtesy dictates that at the very minimum a "thank you" should be in order if for nothing else to let the sender know that you received it rather than keep them guessing.

[bsshog40]

To me, common courtesy dictates that at the very minimum a "thank you" should be in order if for nothing else to let the sender know that you received it rather than keep them guessing.

 

We all know with common sense that this isn't gonna happen all the time. Not everyone is filled with common courtesy! If I was requested of a pic for something I'm selling, I'd send it and then good riddens. If they want it, they'll email back. I'm not wasting my time fretting over something that is beyond my control and I sure wouldn't be sitting around guessing whether they got it or not. A potentially interested buyer will always respond in one way or another. Yes it would be respectful if everyone responded but it's never expected. I may be wanting to buy something and I may be requesting pictures from a few sources. I will probably wind up responding to only the one I'm interested in. If it's one person I'm dealing with, then I will respond whether positive or negative. Not everyone will do the same, and I don't expect it either.

[MikeKing]

All the responses are pretty much good advice. My feeling is that people, even dealers, have their egos tied into their coins, which is entirely natural and OK, so just be polite when you decline.

 

There was a dealer who asked me if I had a coin (s) to trade in for something I was interested in but couldn't afford. I sent him photos of the coins. I forget exactly what he said, but he declined. I felt he was condescending in his response and I got all bent out of shape and wrote him about it. In turn, he got bent out of shape that I got bent out of shape which got me even more bent out of shape. Bottom line is he's probably a nice guy, and I'm a nice guy, and we rubbed each other in a way that spiked our egos because we're both sensitive people.

 

So what I'm trying to say is that you just be polite and even if you 'say the right thing', it could be the 'wrong thing' to someone whose prepared to hear the 'wrong thing'. Life being as complicated as it is, that is not entirely unlikely.

[John Martinez]

Not everyone is filled with common courtesy!

A sad commentary on our society.

 

I'm not wasting my time fretting over something that is beyond my control and I sure wouldn't be sitting around guessing whether they got it or not.

Not fretting, just stating facts. If I want to sell something bad enough, then it is worth it to me to follow-up.

A potentially interested buyer will always respond in one way or another.

You want it when? Not my experience.

[bsshog40]

Yes, sadly enough, Society will not change for the person. Didn't mean any critizm in my comments. I was mainly stating that it's not worth worrying over waiting for someone else to have the courtesy and respect that others may already have. I'm sure there's lots of times that even in our personal lives, we fail to say things to our family or friends at times when they would think it would be courteous of us to say. I know I'm a very busy person sometimes and I neglet to answer an email, tell my wife that her hair looks nice, or just tell my daughter thanks for doing the dishes. This don't make us all evil, and it doesn't always mean that we're disrespectful or uncourteuos. Just merely human at times!!!

[michael]

well would you rather buy a crappy coin then tell the seller the coin is not for you??

[John Martinez]

well would you rather buy a crappy coin then tell the seller the coin is not for you??

????

 

I did not say you should buy the coin.

 

If I ask someone a favor, such as get me a picture, at the minimum, I will make time to tell them it is not what I expected and "thank you".

[John Martinez]

Didn't mean any critizm in my comments.

 

None taken.