I just don't get some people.

[MunkyMan95]

What about Doña? Would you use that as a term of endearment for an elderly person?

[coinman1794]

It bothers me to be in a restaurant and have the waitstaff refer to everyone at the table including my wife, daughter, mom and sisters as "guys". As in "Hi, guys, can I start you off with something to drink?" It's usually followed by "Have you guys decided what you'd like?"

 

It is best to err on the side of caution and treat people repectfully. At least until they show they are unworthy of respect.

 

Being polite might earn you points and could prevent a punch in the nose.

 

You are refering to differences in regional dialect. These variations are not disrespectful; they are just different.

 

If East of the Rockies, United States is considered a region. This has occured in Columbus, Chicago, Washington DC, Saint Louis, Denver and Myrtle Beach. It seems more a lack of proper training than a difference.

 

Add Minneapolis-St.Paul, Charlestons WV and SC to the list.

 

I'm speaking more on the lines of what Vic was talking about, than the use of "guys" in reference to a group of people. That is very common, and though a slang term, it is not derogatory. Just so you know, the "waitstaff" probably wasn't attempting to be disrespectful to you in general.

[PerryHall]

I love when a MD calls me by my first name. Gives me an excuse to start calling him by his first name. You should see the look on their faces.

[prudden]

Not exactly on topic,but have any of you ever seen the episode of COPS,where the Jersey cop catches this kid smoking(of all things)self rolled cigarettes in a stairwell?Of course,the cop thought i was dope. The kid kept calling the cop "poppy" over and over and the cop was getting madder and more frustrated every time he told him not to call him that.Thought it was funny.

[bsshog40]

Man I can't believe this came out today and I just had to read all 32 responses to this post. Actually, I think that you got a rude response Vic. It would have been more professional or even "friendlier" of the buyer to have put this more respectfully. It may be a different situation if you had walked into a high falutin' coin shop and said this to someone there, but someone on a forum where comradery and fellow hobbiests mingle and chat all day long and everyday of the week and year. I call people in my business bud, dude, and have never had any issues. Of course, most people I deal with are common blue collar workers and would rather be called something that refers hospitality and friendship. As stated earlier also, "People need to lighten up". It's gotten where you say hi to someone in a store, or just in public anywhere and they look at you like you have a problem. If you say "Hey", you usually get a dirty look and maybe a rude "Hey" back or just ignored. I'm glad I live in Tx where we still wave at each other driving down the road, but there are still those with the unsocialable attitude. I may be going too far with this, but this loss of a little hospitality is why it is getting harder all the time to ever become United Nation that America once was.

[just-john]

My last encounter with an officer of the law I was called Buddy . the officer said I was very forth coming about the weapons in my vehicle , I had 6 f irearms but had neglected to mention the bag of cocaine .To which my response was WHAT and he pointed to the corner of a ziplock bag under my sleeping bag I just shock my head .Then the more officer arrived and they soon discovered it was a ziplock bag full of cooked/steamed white rice .The other officers had a good laugh and the one that called me Buddy said sorry about that JOHN and I told him no problem BUDDY

[Coindude]

What about Doña? Would you use that as a term of endearment for an elderly person?

For me, Don and Doña are reserved for very special people. Most likely you will only consider one, maybe two couples that you know from a general area as Don and Doña. Other families will have their own, but the term is reserved only for the most respected of people. And it's normally like this.. Don Jose, or Doña Maria.

 

Any other feelings on that subject?

[IGWT]

I would prefer not be called "bud" on any future transactions.

 

I'd honor his request by calling him "Bub" instead of "Bud" next time.

[Conder101]

For some reason, I think of hoss as a term for people who are big - whether it be tall, muscular, or overweight.

Think of Hoss on Bonanza who was called that BECAUSE of his size. As a large, and overweight, person I would find it offensive.

 

Should I address a porn star as Mister? haha..

Yes.

 

I would prefer not be called "bud" on any future transactions.

Seems to me that he very politely informed you that he didn't like it. I would respect his wishes.

[coinman1794]

For some reason, I think of hoss as a term for people who are big - whether it be tall, muscular, or overweight.

Think of Hoss on Bonanza who was called that BECAUSE of his size. As a large, and overweight, person I would find it offensive.

 

Should I address a porn star as Mister? haha..

Yes.

 

I would prefer not be called "bud" on any future transactions.

Seems to me that he very politely informed you that he didn't like it. I would respect his wishes.

 

I agree with you, but that was not a polite sentence, it was cold and absolute.

[IrishMike]

I grew up old school where you called adults Mr or Mrs etc and didn't use "pet" names with strangers. Having said that none of those names would offend me.

 

Earlier this week I got called to sub at a local high school, which I hadn't been inside since I student taught there 70-71. The first class was a senior pysch class and the only thing on the teacher's plans was a Harry Potter movie (insert rolling eyes emoticon). There were 3 football players in the class and one was near 300lbs and over 6 ft compared to my 5'9" and shrinking 165 lb frame.

 

Two of the players started picking on each other, enough to disrupt the class so I stopped the DVD and told them to seperate to different chairs. The big kid gave me a scowl and said "hey man, this ain't your thing". I scowled back and asked him if this is how he talked to his coach and he scowled again, and I quickly before he could say anything asked him if I should go consult his coach. Heh the look on his face changed to angelic real quickly.

 

I was chatting with the hall monitors at lunch and they suggested I report the kid to the coach. I rolled my eyes and thought good grief I am sub it ain't my thing .

[ldhair]

Sometime back I had to call an employee into the office. It was reported that she had called a customer an idi0t. She promised me she had not said that and I believed her. As she left the room she turned her head and said "I called him a jerk". I couldn't help but laugh. She was honest.

[bartlesvilleok]

EZ - I don't see anything wrong with calling someone bud. To me it is common to do but maybe it is just "okie" talk. What I think is even more strange is that someone would let it bud them that much that they would send a PM like that.

 

Calling the cop partner - IDK what to say about that because I normally call them by there first name.

 

Calling the cop Sir and he says officer - Clearly this guy is a person_too_unaware_of_social_graces. I did once have an investigator correct me when I said something else (not really sure how I put it) but I then said well Steve (his first name) if we are going to go by job titles here this is mine. He then tried to just say well Chris (my first name) I need this information. I stopped him and said oh, you must be needing someone else Chris is not my title let me transfer you back to the operator. He didn't last long I think he moved or something but his sargent did bring him down to the store so he could applogise to me before he went bye bye.

[123cents]

When I buy and sell coins I always try to use the person's first name. You never know when a term like "Bud" or " Hoss", might for some reason, offend.

[lehigh96]

This thread almost makes me feel glad that I live in a city where the cops you run into are just happy you didn't pull a gun on them and couldn't care less what name you call them. As someone who has lived my entire life in the Northeast, rudeness is like a way of life. We become so immune to it that we don't even know we are rude. BTW, we don't say hi, talk to, or even look at people we don't know where I live.

[Revenant]

This thread almost makes me feel glad that I live in a city where the cops you run into are just happy you didn't pull a gun on them and couldn't care less what name you call them. As someone who has lived my entire life in the Northeast, rudeness is like a way of life. We become so immune to it that we don't even know we are rude. BTW, we don't say hi, talk to, or even look at people we don't know where I live.

 

What a said place you live in...

[lehigh96]

I guess that depends on whether or not you like people.

[Coin]

I would grow very tired having to first say " How would you like me to address you?" Every time I went to speak to another person.

 

 

[WinstonWare]

This thread almost makes me feel glad that I live in a city where the cops you run into are just happy you didn't pull a gun on them and couldn't care less what name you call them. As someone who has lived my entire life in the Northeast, rudeness is like a way of life. We become so immune to it that we don't even know we are rude. BTW, we don't say hi, talk to, or even look at people we don't know where I live.

[Houston Investor]

You don't want unnecessary confrontations. Wile I am 5' 10" around 240, solidly built, and can take good care of myself plus if I am traveling with my coins I am armed (mace, knife, brass knucks, 9 mm) I have worked to tone down aggressiveness to put forth a good professional image and avoid un-needed conflict. However, if push is going to come to shove, I am ready to defend myself.

 

I have taught college accounting classes - the first day of class I would say "This probably isn't necessary for 99% of you but I expect my classes to be a positive academic forum like the catalog says. Anything otherwise I won't hesitate to penalize your grade. I really don't wan't to drop someone with an F." There is always that 1 in 100 smart a obnoxious student who will disrupt your class (if you let them) and this is a good "stick" to keep those people in check.

[coinman1794]

Arizona, it's somewhat different when you are the teacher

[Conder101]

I would grow very tired having to first say " How would you like me to address you?" Every time I went to speak to another person.

That's why you start with polite formal speech Mr, Mrs, Ms XXX and let THEM tell you "just call me YYYY". If they don't, then after the intial formalities you may ask them "May I call you ZZZZ?" and then follow their wishes. After several dealing when you feel more comfortable with each other you may move on to more familiar terms.

 

I agree with you, but that was not a polite sentence, it was cold and absolute.

I would consider it polite. Cold and absolute would be

"Don't call me 'Bud' in the future"

 

Polite "I would prefer"

Cold/absolute "Don't"

 

 

And while I don't usually get publicly bent out of shape by strangers being overly familiar with my name or how I am addressed, it does affect my opinion of them, and I remember that when I am looking to do business in the future. And if my choice betwen two people or companies is equal I will go with the one that treats me professionally and with respect over one that is overly familiar before such familiarity is deserved.

[Jakeblue]

I am traveling with my coins I am armed (mace, knife, brass knucks, 9 mm)

 

Brass Knucks?! Now that is a blast from the past. I remember seeing them way back when. I think you can still buy'em at Gun Shows. I would not want to be on the business end of those!

[EZ_E]

While I don't understand why some people may be offended by familiarity if done respectfully, I am learning something from this thread and it will make me pause in the future. But, most people have real hang ups when it comes to money and it is near taboo to ask what a coin cost. Once again, that's not me. Just check out my type set registry and I have the price paid on nearly every coin listed. This is mainly for me as a form of record keeping but it spices up the viewing for the viewer too, I think. Gives a collector an idea of what a certain coin may cost them. Well, to each his own.

[WinstonWare]

Gives a collector an idea of what a certain coin may cost them.

 

That is helpful. Thanks for pointing that out (thumbs u

[dooly]

I Hate "GUY / GUY's" when used buy the English .. ti just sounds so false .. could be worse though .. as when i go to peoples houses with my job they go "are you the Rat man"

 

we have also been banned from calling women "Hen" or Dear"

[coinman1794]

I would grow very tired having to first say " How would you like me to address you?" Every time I went to speak to another person.

That's why you start with polite formal speech Mr, Mrs, Ms XXX and let THEM tell you "just call me YYYY". If they don't, then after the intial formalities you may ask them "May I call you ZZZZ?" and then follow their wishes. After several dealing when you feel more comfortable with each other you may move on to more familiar terms.

 

I agree with you, but that was not a polite sentence, it was cold and absolute.

I would consider it polite. Cold and absolute would be

"Don't call me 'Bud' in the future"

 

 

 

If I go along with the strict formalities you outlined, where you use Mr, Ms, etc, and then ask if I can call you XXX, the polite sentence would necessarily contain a "please" and "thank you."

[TomB]

I wouldn't have had a problem with being addressed in such a manner, but I can understand how others might not like it very much. Personally, I do not use familiar salutations for the general public while in a hospital setting.

[Alincolncollector-migratio]

In my many medical visits, I've been called Mr., bud, pal, and many other names. I'm 61. None of this bothers me, and in fact I prefer anything to Mr. as it seems to lighten things up and reduce stress and tension on both sides.

 

However, from my numerous arrests when I was younger (I'm a reformed speeder), there's just no substitute for giving the officer the utmost of courtesy. I found that 15% of the time, simple courtesy and absolutely no smart-a__ will get you away with a warning. Another 10% of the time if your courteous and respectful, the officer will no-show your hearing, and you walk.

 

Plain and simple, this is the one time when putting away the anger at yoursef, circumstances, or the officer is the smart way to play it.

 

Sorry for being preachy, but I learned how to work that system.

[Coin]

Not all of us live in this stiff extremely formal world that others who do would like for us to fall into. Yes , I guess it would be much simpler for all if we had to follow strict "ABC 123 " by the number guidelines for every occassion so that those who require rules and formality in their lives can continue to be comfortable regardless of those that are less confined and more loose in how they go about living in the same world . There must be a middle ground or neutral way to not make the stiff and formal folks feel so bad .

 

I have addressed many people by the formal 'Mr , Mrs,Ms , Madam , .....unfortunitally for me , the world I live in , is a cruel one most of the time and the people that I must deal with are often brash , street toughs or downright brigands ....most I assume consider themselves to be common .......and to address many of these people using formal titles will earn you cautious stares to outright contemptous glares .

 

I have learned to be more like a chamelion (sp?) and try very hard to speak as appropriately as possible depending upon which crowd I happen to be in at the time . I can only stand , personnally , stiff and formal people for just a very small and short amount of time before I start to blister inside, myself , but I do make an extreme effort to put up with their wishes when it is known to me.

 

Saying 'just be yourself' is nice , but not always appropriate . Sometimes you must walk the tougher path to gain the higher ground , but always remember WHICH jungle you are in at the time ....some rules for one jungle just do not apply in other jungles ....be flexible ....if you stay far too stiff all the time you might get smacked in half . Have some sense .

 

I follow the old saying that ' there is a time and place for...'

 

-John , MR. John shaken but not stirred thank-you.