I just don't get some people.

[EZ_E]

I've dealt with tens of thousands of patients in my x-ray career and I will use terms like "bud", "partner", "hoss", etc. in talking to people. No biggy. Just my personality and keeping it friendly.

 

I sold some coins in Jan on ebay and a PCGS VF 1853 quarter sold to a PCGS board member that most would know. I just now noticed this PM across the street from 2 months ago and it kind of ticked me off somewhat.

 

Payment sent on the 1853 quarter. I would prefer not be called "bud" on any future transactions.

 

I also took my wife out to a movie and dinner on Valentine's Day. Had to drive 140 miles round trip and I got pulled over by the HiPo for passing in a no passing lane. (stuck behind slow buttheads and first ticket in 15 years) I called the cop partner when talking to him. He got all smug and said I'm not your partner.

 

Geez! People need to lighten up, I think, my self included for letting this bug me.

 

What's your take?

[YeahToast]

It bothers me to be in a restaurant and have the waitstaff refer to everyone at the table including my wife, daughter, mom and sisters as "guys". As in "Hi, guys, can I start you off with something to drink?" It's usually followed by "Have you guys decided what you'd like?"

 

It is best to err on the side of caution and treat people repectfully. At least until they show they are unworthy of respect.

 

Being polite might earn you points and could prevent a punch in the nose.

[EZ_E]

How was I being impolite?

[ant]

on a thin blue line caught on tape show. it showed a cop flipping out due to the skater kid calling him bro.

 

there was one cop here that i said "sir" to and he got all high and mighty. he said "you call me officer" i said "ill call you sir ,sir. unless its mam" he then pulled me out the car to search it and hold me up so for the next 25 minutes he was "mam".

 

i was also at walmart where an older lady had flipped out cause the young lady at counter called her mam. i had to laugh cause when the manager showed to the desk, she looked at her boss and said " what am i suposed to call her then, old and fat?" right in front of the lady. the boss even laughed but flipping cause she was called mam is just stupid.

[YeahToast]

How was I being impolite?

 

Using a famiarity when a name or "Sir" in the case of the Officer would have worked better.

 

Your use of such terms might help in the X-ray room to alleviate the stress but then again maybe not. It's a judgment call you have to make on the fly. A first-timer might appreciate a "Sir" or "Mam" or Mister or Mrs Smith in the impersonallity of the hospital.

[EZ_E]

Double thumbs up, ant, for your boldness. (thumbs u (thumbs u

 

In my experience, my patients much, much prefer levity instead of formal starch and polish with few exceptions. The very few who don't are too anal anyway just like the two cop stories mentioned.

 

I speak Spanish and I will almost always use the "tu" familiar tense instead of "usted". Guess that it is just a difference in personalities and perceptions.

[ant]

my boldness got me a speeding ticket and 25 minutes of roadside assistance

 

but well worth it.

[James_OldeTowne]

It bothers me to be in a restaurant and have the waitstaff refer to everyone at the table including my wife, daughter, mom and sisters as "guys". As in "Hi, guys, can I start you off with something to drink?" It's usually followed by "Have you guys decided what you'd like?"

Bam! That's the one that bugs me too!

 

Why not just simply ask "Hi, guys, can I start you off with something to drink?", or "Have you decided what you'd like?"

[Brando]

Eze,

 

I can personally say that when I am at the doctors or hospital I like when people talk to me and use names like bud, partner or anything like that. I find it relieves a little tension and makes me feel more comfortable. So don't let a few people with a bug up their *spoon* get in the way of you being yourself because I'll bet the majority of your patients feel the same way I do. Keep doing what your doing (thumbs u

 

 

Brandon

[ant]

It bothers me to be in a restaurant and have the waitstaff refer to everyone at the table including my wife, daughter, mom and sisters as "guys". As in "Hi, guys, can I start you off with something to drink?" It's usually followed by "Have you guys decided what you'd like?"

 

It is best to err on the side of caution and treat people repectfully. At least until they show they are unworthy of respect.

 

Being polite might earn you points and could prevent a punch in the nose.

 

i learned real fast as a server not to say "guys" . its either "the party/your party" or "folks". my girl will flip out on them" do i look like a guy to you......screem screem rant rant" . most the time its easier to just remember 2+people = folks

[gmarguli]

I've dealt with hundreds of thousands of patients in my x-ray career and I will use terms like "bud", "partner", "hoss", etc. in talking to people. No biggy. Just my personality and keeping it friendly.

I'm not familiar with the term "hoss" and it probably wouldn't endear you to me. For some reason it conjures up an image of Boss Hogg from the Dukes of Hazzard.

 

 

I sold some coins in Jan on ebay and a PCGS VF 1853 quarter sold to a PCGS board member that most would know. I just now noticed this PM across the street from 2 months ago and it kind of ticked me off somewhat.

 

Payment sent on the 1853 quarter. I would prefer not be called "bud" on any future transactions.

Not a problem. I'd either not call him bud again in future transactions or I'd not do business with him again. It all depends on if he'll be buying a lot in the future.

 

I also took my wife out to a movie and dinner on Valentine's Day. Had to drive 140 miles round trip and I got pulled over by the HiPo for passing in a no passing lane. (stuck behind slow buttheads and first ticket in 15 years) I called the cop partner when talking to him. He got all smug and said I'm not your partner.

I can fully understand this. You're equating yourself to his actual partner - a person who he depends on to save his life in ugly situations.

 

I think most people are just too sensitive today. They get offended at the slightest thing. Screw them! I'd just ignore them and/or choose not to do business with them again. Not a big deal.

[EZ_E]

Thanks for the feedback, Brandon. It is true, friendliness and levity is a much better remedy in the hospital than straight forward seriousness in most cases. Of course, one should use wisdom because some cases are real tragedies and compassion or quiet is the best route.

 

I'll try to remember the tip about using "folks", ant. It does seem somewhat old-fashioned, though. Guess that I'm guilty for using "guys" in my speech. But I've never gotten any complaints for it.

 

And great advice, Greg. I think that my personality is a cross between Greg's and Mark Feld's. True.

[WinstonWare]

I don't know why someone would be upset by being called "bud."

[ant]

I don't know why someone would be upset by being called "bud."

 

well it depends on how they are holding themselves . if you came up to me all drunk in bar and called me bud not knowing me i might get a lil tiffy. body language i guess would have to set me off for bud to bug me.

 

but if you come up and say" is there a problem BUD" there probobly would be. but if you said thanks for your purchase bud, it wouldnt bug me as much.

 

many words that were nothing are now being used as sler/slang.

 

makes me think of pulp fiction where vega is at the bar and the boxer calles him friend.

[physics-fan3.14]

While I can understand the desire for someone to remain professional in a business transaction, it doesn't seem to be that big a deal. It's the whole service with a smile idea, being friendly and such. It would probably play better in person than in an email, though.

 

About the "guys" thing - I say it. I use guys as a dual gender plural. If you don't like it, get over it. I'm not calling you a man, I'm using it as a general term for people. In some areas of the country, this is perfectly acceptable. I use guys and y'all interchangeably.

[YeahToast]

As has been demonstrated here familiarity can be a slippery slope.

 

On one thing you are right though; people do need to lighten up. It does seem people now look for offense and insult in the most trivial of things..

[WinstonWare]

I try to say "folks" instead of "guys."

[MunkyMan95]

I read an article in the paper that a teenage kid was arrested for calling a police officer "Dude." The officer's ego got in the way, and he decided that the kid needed to be taught a lesson.

 

People just need to loosen up. As long as people aren't calling me *spooning* *spooners* I'm fine with it

[Coindude]

I speak Spanish and I will almost always use the "tu" familiar tense instead of "usted". Guess that it is just a difference in personalities and perceptions.

I will have to disagree with you a bit on this one.

 

The way I was raised, the "TU" is meant for friends or people younger than you. The "USTED" is meant for elders and those who deserve respect. If I were to use TU instead of USTED to some of my friends they would take that as a huge disrespect, but then again, I'm tanner than you!!

 

Other than that... my normal greetings are things like... "hey baby, wassup", only for guys though because I would prefer not to offend women, especially my wife! Or... "how you doin". I'm a pretty laid back kinda guy too. Dude, Yo, Chick, Chica, Vato.... yea, I use all those too. And instead of "GUYS", I prefer a good "YAAAAALLLLL".

[MunkyMan95]

I've dealt with hundreds of thousands of patients in my x-ray career and I will use terms like "bud", "partner", "hoss", etc. in talking to people. No biggy. Just my personality and keeping it friendly.

I'm not familiar with the term "hoss" and it probably wouldn't endear you to me. For some reason it conjures up an image of Boss Hogg from the Dukes of Hazzard.

 

For some reason, I think of hoss as a term for people who are big - whether it be tall, muscular, or overweight.

 

According to urbandictionary.com, hoss is defined as: "one who is a beast that can basically do anything he wants. He could break anyone or anything in half. "

[jgrinz]

In Spansh Classes "tu" is familiar tense as in family members or those close to you / age has nothing to do with it -

 

"usted" is the formal and most used tense for speaking to those you do not know.

 

Maybe my Spanish teacher who only Spoke Spanish in the classroom was wrong

 

 

 

[RI AL]

Coindude. I taught Spanish and agree with your assessment. When we were in Spain with 16 high school kids about 5 years ago, I made sure that they referred to elders as Usted and friends, peers as tu. I believe that in some Spanish speaking countries, this can be an important issue.

 

Regarding the "You guys" at restaurants...well 'round these here parts in the stucks of RI, the question often is asked, "Can I get youze something to drink"? Very heavy French influence around here. One doesn't go shopping, one "makes ones stores". You don't park you car next to another car, you park "side by each". In a bakery once, I heard a lady making her selection of "tree of doz and tree of doz dere".

 

Pal, Bud, ...none of that stuff bothers me in the least. I have been called some far more "creative" things in my high school teaching days.

[Jakeblue]

I work with the public, professionally. One of the first things we were taught was to never call anyone a term of endearment because it COULD be perceived as unprofessional and demeaning. I understand the premise of E Z and while his intention is not too offend, maybe try asking if it is okay to use familiar tems.

 

Generally, most of us will respond appropriately when treated with respect, so they could take it as respect if you first ask IMHO.

[MunkyMan95]

I work with the public, professionally. One of the first things we were taught was to never call anyone a term of endearment because it COULD be perceived as unprofessional and demeaning. I understand the premise of E Z and while his intention is not too offend, maybe try asking if it is okay to use familiar tems.

 

Generally, most of us will respond appropriately when treated with respect, so they could take it as respect if you first ask IMHO.

 

Having read the comments here, what term would you use in this situation?

[EZ_E]

Working with the public in patient care is much different from professional sales or whatever. Regardless, most people will respond positive to a positive person or encounter.

 

Heck, I even told redneck jokes to Mrs. Wynn, wife of a billionaire Las Vegas casino owner but I still treated her with respect. And when I had Ron Jeremy as a patient, I was very busy and had him shoot an x-ray on a little old lady with a fractured wrist while I held. Should I address a porn star as Mister? haha...

 

And, I may get cut some slack for using the formal tense in my Spanish since I'm a white boy. One thing that I have learned, though, is not to automatically assume that a Hispanic patient only speaks Spanish. I'll usually ask if they prefer Spanish or English when I'm in doubt to avoid insult, e.g. insinuating that they can't speak English by speaking Spanish.

[Jakeblue]

I work with the public, professionally. One of the first things we were taught was to never call anyone a term of endearment because it COULD be perceived as unprofessional and demeaning. I understand the premise of E Z and while his intention is not too offend, maybe try asking if it is okay to use familiar tems.

 

Generally, most of us will respond appropriately when treated with respect, so they could take it as respect if you first ask IMHO.

 

Having read the comments here, what term would you use in this situation?

 

I would ask if they had a preference and what that preference would be. I have done this and it has always never failed.

[Jakeblue]

Working with the public in patient care is much different from professional sales or whatever. Regardless, most people will respond positive to a positive person or encounter.

 

Heck, I even told redneck jokes to Mrs. Wynn, wife of a billionaire Las Vegas casino owner but I still treated her with respect. And when I had Ron Jeremy as a patient, I was very busy and had him shoot an x-ray on a little old lady with a fractured wrist while I held. Should I address a porn star as Mister? haha...

 

And, I may get cut some slack for using the formal tense in my Spanish since I'm a white boy. One thing that I have learned, though, is not to automatically assume that a Hispanic patient only speaks Spanish. I'll usually ask if they prefer Spanish or English when I'm in doubt to avoid insult, e.g. insinuating that they can't speak English by speaking Spanish.

 

I work as a streetmedic in KCMO and have worked in Michigan and Iowa. I have also worked for FEMA part-time in a related capacity. As above, that training has never failed me.

[coinman1794]

It bothers me to be in a restaurant and have the waitstaff refer to everyone at the table including my wife, daughter, mom and sisters as "guys". As in "Hi, guys, can I start you off with something to drink?" It's usually followed by "Have you guys decided what you'd like?"

 

It is best to err on the side of caution and treat people repectfully. At least until they show they are unworthy of respect.

 

Being polite might earn you points and could prevent a punch in the nose.

 

You are refering to differences in regional dialect. These variations are not disrespectful; they are just different.

[YeahToast]

It bothers me to be in a restaurant and have the waitstaff refer to everyone at the table including my wife, daughter, mom and sisters as "guys". As in "Hi, guys, can I start you off with something to drink?" It's usually followed by "Have you guys decided what you'd like?"

 

It is best to err on the side of caution and treat people repectfully. At least until they show they are unworthy of respect.

 

Being polite might earn you points and could prevent a punch in the nose.

 

You are refering to differences in regional dialect. These variations are not disrespectful; they are just different.

 

If East of the Rockies, United States is considered a region. This has occured in Columbus, Chicago, Washington DC, Saint Louis, Denver and Myrtle Beach. It seems more a lack of proper training than a difference.

 

Add Minneapolis-St.Paul, Charlestons WV and SC to the list.

[Coindude]

In Spansh Classes "tu" is familiar tense as in family members or those close to you / age has nothing to do with it -

 

"usted" is the formal and most used tense for speaking to those you do not know.

 

Maybe my Spanish teacher who only Spoke Spanish in the classroom was wrong

You / he are probably perfectly correct... but a smack down from mama or mi abuelita would most likely ensue from a TU, but an USTED would be quite alright. I'll continue to use the USTED as a term of respect me thinks... just so I don't get the smack down of nothing else!