Cross grading ICCS coins to NGC

Help! I need some advice. I have never sent any coins in yet for grading. I am nervous and worried. I have asked questions to NGC as well as to members. The water is till too cold. I keep pulling back at the last moment. You see, my problem is that I have recieved just enough conflicting advice that I am too scared to commit some high valued coins for grading, when, in my eyes, I'm going to do something wrong and I won't have the orrigonal graded value after they come back from cross grading. I was told by Alan Hager not to send in the ICCS grading card with the coin. That I won't get it back, when I get the coin back from NGC. I want the card to ensure the value, if NGC doesn't give me equall or better grading. If I cut the card off as was the advice, will NGC not recognize the grade that was given by ICCS? Due to the fact that the coin technicly is raw now. Please, If any one can help, I would be so gratefull. Please add any other info. to help me to get my feet wet, as well. Jay