BU, or not BU, that is the question...

What I love about going to a coin store over buying coins online is that I can hold the coin in my hads, look it over, and purchase it without shipping fees or a Buyer's Premium. However, being in the middle of nowhere and not having access to any numismatic outlets, I turn to my computer. The disadvantage of buying online, or at least the one I will focus on for this post, is what the seller/dealer considers to be AU/BU/etc, and what I would see it as. I suppose I am being paranoid, but when I check a site's grading standards and see "Based on our interpertations...", I worry a little bit. This is the case especially when I am on a site that does not have a picture of the coin, or just a stock photo. When I see ANA standards, I feel I can rest easier. Evin if I can not see the coin, I can guess accurately what it will look like. Am I being weird about this, or just cautious?