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Now this is funny

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Here it is 893applaud-thumb.gif:


Jade Coin Announces Discovery and Acquisition of Famous 1804 Rarity


August 29, 2003, St. Louis, MO


With the recent $1.2 million sale of the famous Adams-Carter specimen 1804 American Silver dollar still fresh in the minds of numismatists nationwide, it is no surprise that rarities of great magnitude are attracting headline attention. As most coin collectors well know, only 15 specimens of the 1804 dollar are known to exist. In an unprecedented move yesterday, Jade Coin Company of Grand Rapids, MI, announced the discovery and acquisition of another fabled numismatic rarity.


"We are fortunate to have been able to make this amazing acquisition of an 1804," said Dennis Tarrant, President and CEO of Jade Coin Company. "Our acquisition two months ago of the hoard of five holed large-cents caused quite a stir, but our announcement today should really put us on the map."


The 1804 acquired by Jade Coin is the only specimen known to exhibit chopmarks, which are little Chinese characters counterstamped or punched into the suface of coins to confirm their exchange value in the far East. The use of chopmarks confirmed the coin to be genuine and of full silver weight. Prior to today's announcement, no 1804 silver dollars were known to feature chopmarks.


"What really amazed me was the amount of circulation evident on the coin." stated Mr. Tarrant. "By today's standards, this coin would only grade VG (very-good) at best, but we are presently in negotiations with PGCS (Pretty Good Certification Service) in hopes they will certify and encapsulate this coin as genuine, grade notwithstanding. Should they choose to body-bag the coin, we will likely have it certified at Accu-Greed, since the encapsulation technology was originally developed by that firm, and their reputation is well-established.".


The provenance, or origin, of the coin is unknown. It was purchased from the stock of a foreign coin dealer in Shiroh, an ancient trading port in Northern Indo-China. Mr. Tarrant postulates that the coin saw normal circulation activity for many years before being plucked from circulation and set aside as a collectible. Furthermore, although it is accepted that the fifteen previously known 1804 silver dollars were struck posthumously, probably during the 1830's, the Jade Coin specimen is believed to have actually been struck in 1804.


When pressed for what plans lay in store for the discovery coin, Mr. Tarrant seemed reluctant to speculate.


"We're obviously interested in selling the coin, but only if the appropriate profit-margin can be realized." he said. "We paid over $9 US for it, and when you include shipping and handling charges, the total cost is well over fifteen dollars. Plus, once you tack on the charge for certification, I can honestly say that we will need to sell the coin for at least $36.95 just to break even." James Garcia, staff member of the firm's Display Case Windexing department, suggested that the coin may be placed in a major auction. "Our best shot at recouping our investment may be to make sure this coin gets maximum exposure, like in a national auction".


Mr. Garcia also mentioned that so far, neither Hermitage Auctions nor Bowels and Hernia Galleries had returned calls concerning their inquiries. "We were hoping to hear back from their representatives, but we understand both firms are busy preparing catalogs for the upcoming State Quarter Extravaganza in Salt Lick City. If we don't hear something soon, we intend to list this coin on eBay, where it is certain to realize strong value."


Jade Coin asks that all inquiries regarding this coin be directed to their Fictional Resources department. An image of this coin appears below:




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Thanks a lot guys! I have to confess that most of the wording of this parody was based on an article I read in Coin World - with a few tweaks here and there.


At the risk of sending you to an active eBay auction, here's an 18014 I just listed on eBay yesterday. Check out my headline for it ....


Also, I'm going to be adding more chicken liver to my website soon. Stay tuned .... wink.gif



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1804 Pillar dollar, Very Good. Harshly cleaned with unnatural, splotchy toning and scattered test marks on the obverse. The reverse exhibits two pockmarks where it was apparently drilled for unknown reasons. Not a particularly attractive coin, but a genuine example of early American silver, and it does bear the most romantic date in American numismatics.


Question: What the heck is a "pellet auction"?

I'm glad you asked! There's a coin company that bills itself as the hugest, most awesome mega-sized coin auction house in the whole world, and they run something they call "bullet auctions". That's where basically you get a picture of a certified coin showing the slabbed grade, and there's no additional commentary or hype. You plug a bid, and if you're the high bidder, it's yours - no fuss no muss. That company can afford to use "bullets" because they've gotten rich from charging high prices for coins (remember, they're the most mega-largest coin dealer in the world).


By contrast, I just happen to be one of the smallest, most insignificant coin dealers around, so about all I can't afford bullets, much less a real gun. So, I bought a slingshot, and have to use pellets instead. Here's how my pellet auctions work: I show a picture of a coin, with my grade and comments (if any). Plug a bid, and if you're the high bidder, it's your coin - no fuss no muss. Plus, since I'm only using cheap pellets instead of expensive bullets, I pass savings on to you in the form of *** free shipping ***. However, these are not expensive coins - please no returns. It's just not worth the cost of a stamp to send mail back and forth . . . . . for a handful of stupid pellets.


Good luck, and remember, bullets are dangerous. Stick with pellets!




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